By: Squealexander Hamilton, Farm Correspondent & Puppy Publicist
Well, well, well… look who’s suddenly Miss Important.
This week, one of my own, Joan, got to leave the farm for her very first big public appearance.
And not just any outing. Oh no.
We’re talking a trip to a senior living center to meet Chris’s 90-year-old mother, Margaret.
The Saintly Connection
Now, for those of you not up on your human history, Joan was named after Joan of Arc, Chris’s mother’s favorite saint. So, of course, when she heard we had a puppy named Joan, she wanted to meet her immediately.
Honestly, I can’t compete with that level of hype.
No one’s ever said, “Oh, bring me the pig named after a Founding Father so I can meet him in person.” But whatever.
The Road to Stardom
Before she even got to strut her stuff, Joan had to conquer another first: the car ride.
One hour in a moving vehicle — no farm smells, no familiar sounds, no mud to roll in.
You know what she did?
She laid down on the seat and calmly rested the whole way. No whining. No chewing the upholstery. Not even a single “Are we there yet?” whimper. For a first-timer, that’s practically legendary.
Joan of Bark in Action
Once they arrived, Joan strutted into that senior center like she’d been doing this her whole life.
Leash on. Head high. Zero fear.
She walked right up to people, sat politely at their feet, and waited to be petted like a professional therapy dog. Not one jump. Not one paw to the chest. Just pure, tail-wagging charm.
The only thing that made her look twice?
The magic doors.
Yes, apparently, this place has doors that open by themselves. No paws. No handles. Just whoosh! — and they slide apart like in a sci-fi movie.
Now, if it were me, I would’ve been deeply suspicious. Any door that can open itself can also close itself… probably on your tail.
But Krystin told Joan it was normal and safe, so she just shrugged and walked through like she owned the place. Professional. Unshaken. Clearly not a pig.
Hallway Hurdles & Potty Patrol
The humans were a little worried she might get confused.
You see, in a place like that, you go from an apartment, through a doorway into a hallway, and then later out of an elevator into another hallway. To a puppy, that could look suspiciously like “outside” — and “outside” means potty time.
But Joan? She held it together. Literally.
She went four whole hours without a potty break while time flew by and the humans chatted away.
Margaret, meanwhile, was proudly parading Joan up and down the hallways like she was showing off a blue-ribbon champion. They visited friends, collected compliments, and melted every heart they passed.
And in my opinion? She was a blue-ribbon champion… because she did not tug once on the leash. Not even a little. Do you realize the chaos that could’ve caused if she had? Hallway traffic jams. Coffee spills. Possibly a toppled walker. Disaster avoided.
Credit Where Credit Is Due
Now, to Chris’s credit, all the puppies have been learning this “sit to get pets” routine since they were 4 weeks old. Why?
Because no human likes getting claw marks down their legs from overexcited puppies. (Fair.)
Still, teaching eight little fluffballs to wait their turn? That’s no small feat. And Joan? She nailed it.
The Reviews Are In
From what I hear, Joan was a hit. She made people smile, she soaked up the attention without going full chaos mode, and she even won over the staff.
The only thing missing?
Me.
Can you imagine the standing ovation I’d get walking into a senior center? They’d probably knit me sweaters and feed me watermelon chunks by hand.
Final Thoughts:
I guess I’m proud of Joan.
She’s making the farm look good out in the real world, and if this keeps up, maybe I’ll start letting the other puppies follow in her pawprints.
But let’s be clear…I crawled so she could walk on that leash.
Snoutfully Yours,
🐽 Squealexander Hamilton
Farm Mentor. Public Relations Pig. Jealous but Supportive Uncle.
