Hello. I’m Squealexander Hamilton, rescued pig, full-time sanctuary resident, and the only one here brave enough to tell the truth. This blog is my official account of life at Grounded with Nature: the animals, the humans, the weather (my enemy), and the daily joys and injustices of farm living. Some entries are heartfelt, some are dramatic, and some are simply me with purpose. All stories are told from the snout, with honesty, curiosity, and a deep commitment to naps.
Welcome to the farm. I hope you brought snacks.
If you’d like these reports delivered directly to you (before the puppies intercept them), you can subscribe here: [Hamilton’s Substack]. All blogs are available for free. Or follow us on Facebook
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Welcome to Hamilton’s Hog Blog!
I’m Squealexander Hamilton, rescue pig, farm philosopher, snack enthusiast, and now… your official storyteller. From muddy adventures to puppy rebellions, I’ll be spilling all the barnyard secrets one oink at a time.
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Oink! Hello From Squealexander Hamilton- #1
“Oh, hi. Hamilton here. I’ll be taking over the blog now, since apparently the humans were too busy with puppies. 🙄Hamilton. Blogger. House pig (formerly). Truth teller. Snack enthusiast.” Well hello there, Internet. It’s me. Squealexander Hamilton. The most distinguished (and clearly most important) resident of Grounded With Nature. So here’s the deal. I was
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Undercover and Underappreciated: Hamilton’s House Arrest- #2
By: Squealexander Hamilton, still the brains behind this operation Oink again, my loyal readers.Or should I say… co-conspirators. You’ll be pleased to know my weekly blog takeover remains completely undetected. No one’s caught on yet. Not one suspicious glance, not one question like, “Hey, who gave the pig admin access?” Just blissful ignorance from the
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Watermelon, Betrayal, and Barking Intruders- Blog #3
By: Squealexander Hamilton, Unofficial Mayor of Grounded With Nature The Party Begins (Without Me, Obviously) Well, well, well… So I guess you could say the puppy party was a success…If your idea of success includes seven sticky children, ten overexcited adults, and two extra yappy purse-dogs tearing through my sanctuary like a swarm of caffeinated
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This Is Not an Emotional Breakdown – Blog #4
By: Squealexander Hamilton, Totally Not Getting Attached I Swear I’m Fine Let me be clear. I am not going soft.I am not developing feelings.And I am absolutely not becoming emotionally entangled with the puppies. But hypothetically, if I were the type to form unexpected bonds with a pack of drooling, tail-wagging, house-peeing maniacs… I could
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Shots Fired and a Goodbye I Definitely Will Not Cry – Blog #5
Blog #5 by Squealexander Hamilton, Totally Fine and Not Crying The Needles Are Coming Sound the alarm. Hide your snacks. Fortify the pig pen.The vet is coming. Yes, this Saturday, a human with a pokey agenda will arrive to stick needles into my puppies. Microchips. Vaccines. Medical drama. I’ve been told this is “routine” and
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Back When I Was the Baby – #6
By Squealexander Hamilton, Retired Baby and Couch Burrito Emeritus Listen. I’ve decided it’s time to stop wallowing in heartbreak over Kat leaving (even though she took a piece of my soul with her).I’m moving on. I’m healing. I’m reclaiming my power.I’m remembering the glory days… Back when I was the baby. Yes, dear readers, long
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Joan of Bark Goes to Town- #7
By: Squealexander Hamilton, Farm Correspondent & Puppy Publicist Well, well, well… look who’s suddenly Miss Important.This week, one of my own, Joan, got to leave the farm for her very first big public appearance. And not just any outing. Oh no.We’re talking a trip to a senior living center to meet Chris’s 90-year-old mother, Margaret.
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The Great Puppy Rebellion — #8
By: Squealexander Hamilton, Self-Appointed Commander-in-Chief Well, well, well…Look what happens when all three of my human parents abandon the farm for an entire week. That’s right. Krystin, Chris, AND Paul have left on some mysterious “important business trip,” leaving Grandma Donna in charge of the farm. And because Donna is no fool, she immediately called
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Strange Sightings and Sudden Goodbyes
Blog #9 by: Squealexander HamiltonFarm Correspondent. Emotional Support Pig. Reluctant Chicken Roommate. Strange Sightings on the Farm Friends, gather round. I have seen many things in my piggy lifetime, but nothing could have prepared me for this week’s spectacle: Krystin, my human, cruising across the farm on the golf cart… with a rooster in her
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The Great Escape & Stephen Hawking the Hawk- #10
By: Squealexander Hamilton, Escape Caper Commentator & Hawk Watch Commander The Great Puppy Escape Farm life is many things—peaceful, chaotic, muddy—but never boring. Take last week, for example. Chris and Krystin were in a mad dash to leave for a workday, tossing the puppies into their dog yard like usual. Problem solved, right? Wrong. Because
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The Return of the Dangals (and Oliver’s Rock Star Tour)- #11
By: Squealexander Hamilton, Spin Doctor & Puppy PR Manager The Sequel Nobody Expected Just when you thought the story was over….Surprise! The puppies are back. Yes, friends, two of our fluffy farm recruits, Margaret and Atles, after a week away, have returned home. Now, before anyone starts whispering, let me set the record straight: this
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Road Trips, Foster Moms & Lash-Batting Conspiracies- #12
By: Squealexander Hamilton, Travel Correspondent & Puppy Departure Analyst The Great Puppy Exodus (Sort Of) Word on the farm is that three of my Dangals are hitting the road. Yes, three. Count them. First up: Joan. She’s headed all the way to Dallas with one of Krystin’s clients. That’s a 20+ hour car ride. Twenty
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A Very Special Guest at the Farm #13
By: Squealexander Hamilton, Pig reporter Well, well, well… forget road trips and minivans for a minute, folks, I have to spill the tea while it’s hot. We had ourselves a royal visit! The farm rolled out the red carpet for a true celebrity. Chris’s 90-year-old mother, Margaret, came to stay at the farm, and let
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Road Trippin’, Goodbyes, and New Beginnings #14
Now, where were we before our royal interruption? Ah, yes, the great puppy road trip. After Queen Margaret’s magical visit to the farm, it was time for the humans, the pups, and all the luggage of chaos to hit the road. Picture this: September 10th, bright and early, the humans load up the puppy parade
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Princess Sadie’s Sweet Life & The Boys’ Big Sleepover – #15
Well, well, well… some pups are really living the dream, and I, Hamilton the pig, am here to report on all the juicy details. Let’s start with Princess Sadie, formerly Sophie. Yes, you heard me right, she got a new name in her new life. And get this: she was named Sadie after her mother.
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Farewell to the Elf King- #16
Well, friends, today I don’t bring you tales of puppies, castles, or sleepovers. Today, I bring you something heavier on my heart. We had to say goodbye to our very first barn cat, Oliver. My humans picked him up from a livestock auction when he was just a 6-week-old ball of fluff. And from the
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Dreams of a Underappreciated Pig- #17
By: Squealexander Hamilton, A Well-Rested Abandoned Pig Well, well, well. Guess who’s been abandoned again this week? That’s right, yours truly. Paul worked long days, and Chris and Krystin took off on some super special “work trip” (translation: playing dentist with their precious horse clients). Ugh. It’s either Horses or Puppies always hogging the spotlight.
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The Great Puppy Adoption Games-#18
By: Squealexander Hamilton, Adoption Games Host & Snack Critic Meet the Final Three Well, it’s official. The Puppy Adoption Games are entering their final round. Three contestants remain, and the tension on the farm is thicker than a bowl of day-old mash. The puppies, born May 21st, now four months and change, are all grown
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Cold Noses, Warm Blankets & One Very Displeased Pig- Blog 19
By: Squealexander Hamilton, Winter Correspondent & Blanket Rights Activist Well, well, well… winter is creeping onto the farm, and you know what that means… My personal comfort levels have plummeted. The mornings are colder, the wind howls through the trees, and the mud isn’t even the good kind anymore… It’s the cold, crunchy, disappointing kind
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Bandit’s Big Scare & the Case of the Mysterious Fever- #20
By: Squealexander Hamilton, Concerned Pig & Medical Correspondent It all started the night Krystin told Bandit he’d be heading to his new home soon… a loving family in Pennsylvania was waiting just for him. He wagged his tail politely, but I could tell. Something in his eyes shifted. That night, he looked… sad. Thoughtful. Maybe
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The Puppies Take Over (Briefly)-#21
By: King Arthur the Dangal & Natty Bo, Deputy of Mischief From the Desk of King Arthur Good day, loyal readers of Grounded with Nature! Hamilton is…. how should I say this politely… “unavailable for commentary” (snoring under a blanket). So I, King Arthur, have assumed command of this week’s royal update. At just five
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Atlas will be Heading to Texas (and Other Farm Forecasts)- #22
By: Squealexander Hamilton, Travel Correspondent & Vaccination Skeptic Breaking News from the Pig Desk Big happenings on the farm this week, folks. The kind of events that shake up the mud, ruffle the feathers, and send the feed bags flying. First and foremost: Atlas has a home! Yes, my sweet, loyal, slightly dopey Dangal brother
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The Great Human Migration (and My Glorious Survival) #23
A Late (but Justified) UpdateWell, well, well… look who finally got around to posting again.Yes, I know, it’s been a minute. Or as my fans like to say, “Hamilton, where have you been?”To which I reply: surviving. See, while my humans, Krystin, Chris, and Paul, were off gallivanting on some kind of luxury mudless cruise (unthinkable), I was
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The Wind, the Snuggles & the Racehorse of Wisdom- #24
By: Squealexander Hamilton, Dream Warrior & Professional Snuggler The Wind Is Personally Attacking Me Let me begin with this very simple truth:I. Hate. The. Wind. It pushes my ears back.It ruffles my fur in disrespectful ways.It makes strange noises that sound like ghosts with asthma. And worst of all? It makes me squeal.Not dramatic squealing
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Leftovers, Losses & One Very Suspicious Road Trip – #25
By: Squealexander Hamilton, Turkey Disposal Specialist & Cold-Weather Refugee Thanksgiving: A Culinary Triumph (for Me)Thanksgiving has officially ended, and I, Squealexander Hamilton, have been swimming in leftovers like a piggy Scrooge McDuck doing backstrokes through gold coins. Stuffing? Delicious.Turkey bits? Heavenly.Mashed potatoes? A gift from above.Random food scraps the humans “accidentally” dropped near my pen?A
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Atlas Takes Manhattan… Well, Tennessee… Fine, He Just Took the Southeast – Blog #26
By: Squealexander Hamilton, Travel Correspondent & Uninvited Road-Trip Guest Let me paint the emotional landscape for you:Sunday, 4 p.m. The humans pack the car with snacks, luggage, road-trip dreams, and shockingly, zero pigs.Already, the trip is a failure. Atlas, my floppy, golden-hearted nephew, was chosen as the VIP passenger. Meanwhile, I, the farm’s most gifted
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Majesty, Meteorologists & the Great Mud Suit Crisis – #27
By: Squealexander Hamilton I would like to formally announce that we have acquired a new resident on the farm. Her name is Majesty. Yes. Majesty. I assume we are now living in a monarchy. Majesty is a horse, and not just any horse. Her original job in life was an arabber, which I am told
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Hamilton’s Official Winter Survival Guide (And a Formal Protest Against Clothing) – #28
By: Squealexander HamiltonTiny Pig, Wind Victim, Amateur Meteorologist & Occasionally a Cat I would like to begin by saying that 50 mph wind gusts are completely unnecessary. This is not a breeze.This is not “a bit windy.”This is air moving with intent. Today, the wind did not simply pass through the farm. It arrived, yelled
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Tiny Pig, Red-Suited Intruder & the Flying Hay Cart Conspiracy- # 29
An Unapproved Holiday Event as Witnessed by a Tiny Pig I would like to formally state, for the record, that NO ONE informed me that a strange man in a RED SUIT would be SNEAKING AROUND MY FARM AFTER DARK. No meeting.No memo.No pig briefing. So imagine my surprise when, while conducting my usual midnight
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New Year, Same Pig (With a List) #30
Ah yes. A new year.A fresh start.A clean slate. Which is adorable, because absolutely no one on this farm is changing. Apparently, humans make New Year’s Resolutions. They write them down, say them out loud, and then immediately return to their normal nonsense. As the farm’s unofficial but clearly most qualified observer, I felt it
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It’s Spring. Probably. – Blog 31
Something has shifted on the farm. I noticed it first, obviously, because I am very attuned to the universe and also extremely sensitive to temperature changes. One moment, it was windy and rude and attacking my ears, and the next moment… the sun appeared. Not politely.Not gradually.Just boom, sunny and 60 degrees. The humans are
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Grandma Donna Returned & the Sky Fell Apart- Blog 32
By: Squealexander Hamilton Something major happened on the farm last weekend. Grandma Donna came back. Now, before you continue reading, you should understand something important:Grandma Donna is one of my favorite people. This is not something I say lightly. I do not favor easily. I observe. I evaluate. I judge quietly from hay piles and
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Five Degrees, One Foot of Snow, and the Puppy Interrogation Unit – Blog 33
By: Squealexander Hamilton The weather did it again. Just when I was beginning to trust it…Just when I allowed myself a moment of warmth, hope, and mild optimism…The temperature dropped from 50 to 7 degrees in a matter of hours. Not days.Not gradually.Hours. This is not a seasonal change.This is an attack. Thankfully, the humans
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I Dreamt of Paradise (It Was Literally My Backyard) -#34
I regret to inform you that the snow did not leave. It simply froze in place out of spite. At present, we are covered in approximately seven inches of snow with an additional two or more inches of ice layered on top like a cruel dessert no one ordered. The ground is no longer ground.
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Five Pallets, One Forgotten Mouth -Blog 35
A Logistics Report That Personally Affected Me Paul hitched the truck.He hitched the trailer.He braved snow, ice, and the kind of weather that feels personal. The horses received five pallets of food. I did the math. Five pallets divided by zero Hamilton pallets equals disrespect. I am not saying the horses don’t deserve food.I am
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Operation: Left Turn and The Command Center at Sea- Blog 36
Well. My humans are away again. They claim they are traveling to a warm, sunny destination to celebrate their birthdays. Apparently, this requires a cruise ship. I would like it noted that Chris was sick on his birthday. Very tragic. Very unfair. I do agree he deserved a vacation. However. I also experienced emotional inconvenience
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The Wasted Mud Crisis & The Rise of Penelope – #37
I regret to inform you that the weather has escalated. For two consecutive days, rain poured from the heavens while the snow melted in what can only be described as a theatrical betrayal. The farm transformed into rolling-grade, premium, artisan mud. And I. Could. Not. Roll in it. The temperature hovered in that offensive range
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The Week the Sun Returned (And So Did My Importance)
Blog 38 A Week of Suspicious Peace This week was… calm. Unsettlingly calm. No ice sheets.No emergency straw deliveries.No dramatic human incompetence requiring my oversight. The weather behaved for several consecutive hours, which frankly feels like a setup. But then… in what I can only assume was an apology tour, the temperature rose into the
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Hamilton Discovers a Disturbing Internet Development
While trapped inside during what I can only describe as six consecutive days of rude, unnecessary rain, I spent some time reviewing the state of the internet. The results were upsetting. Apparently, a pig named Merlin has just been placed in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the most followers on Instagram. 1.1 million followers. I read the