By: Squealexander Hamilton, Travel Correspondent & Vaccination Skeptic
Breaking News from the Pig Desk
Big happenings on the farm this week, folks. The kind of events that shake up the mud, ruffle the feathers, and send the feed bags flying. First and foremost: Atlas has a home!
Yes, my sweet, loyal, slightly dopey Dangal brother is packing his bags for the Hill Country of Texas. Krystin says it’s one of the most beautiful places she’s ever seen, with rolling hills, open skies, and endless trails for a big dog to follow along on.
When I heard “Hill Country,” I pictured Atlas trotting majestically through the fields like some kind of cowboy hero, wind in his fur, sun on his back, probably humming the theme song from an old Western. He’ll have adventures for days. Meanwhile, I’ll be here… guarding the mud, monitoring snack distribution, and filing emotional support paperwork for my separation anxiety.
Now, I’m thrilled for him, of course, but… why do all my siblings keep moving so far away? Joan went to Dallas, Margaret to Roanoke, now Atlas, too? What’s next… A Dangal world tour? I swear, Krystin’s secretly opening satellite branches of Grounded with Nature across the country. At least we have Bear, Kat, and Bandit relatively close in Pennsylvania.
Still, I have to admit, Atlas deserves it. He’s gentle, sweet, and about as close to angelic as a 100-pound puppy can be. Krystin’s already planning for the early-December road trip like she’s coordinating a presidential motorcade. I’ve heard there’s a rental Chrysler minivan involved… seats folded flat, bedding arranged like a five-star dog hotel, snacks prepped, and playlists queued. She even mentioned “road trip cuddles,” which, quite frankly, I think should be a federally protected right for pigs, too.
The Great Vaccination Dilemma
And just when we thought the excitement couldn’t get any higher, the vet’s coming Monday.
That’s right. Rabies vaccinations. For the puppies. All of them.
Now, I’m no doctor (though I could play one convincingly on television), but I know what “rabies shots” mean: pokes, yelps, and chaos. The humans call it “responsible animal care.” I call it “Monday’s emotional trauma.”
Krystin, ever the overthinker, is particularly nervous about giving Bandit his vaccination so close to heading to his new home. And honestly, after what happened the last time she told him he had a new home… the fever, the vet visits, the “was this an act?” moment… I get it.
She keeps saying, “It just worked out this way.” And I keep thinking, “Worked out for who?” Bandit’s probably in his pen right now, plotting a mysterious limp to delay his departure another week.
Farm Life Between Goodbyes
The rest of us are bracing for another round of puppy departures. It’s bittersweet, really. The humans beam with pride, the puppies wag with excitement, and I pretend to be emotionally detached while quietly sniffling behind the hay bales. (Pretty sure it’s just allergies. Again.)
I’ll miss Atlas, his gentle heart, his goofy grin, and his willingness to follow me around like a slightly confused security guard. But that’s life on the farm: full of love, full of change, and just a little bit of chaos.
And between the road trips, the shots, and Krystin’s ever-growing list of “To Do Before We Leave Again,” something tells me I will have another epic adventure to report on soon.
Snoutfully Yours,
🐽 Squealexander Hamilton
Proud Pig. Emotional Commentator. Road Trip Analyst (Retired… for now)