Oink! Hello From Squealexander Hamilton- #1

Well hello there, Internet.

It’s me. Squealexander Hamilton. The most distinguished (and clearly most important) resident of Grounded With Nature.

So here’s the deal. I was rooting around on this website and noticed they have this entire section labeled “Blog” that nobody’s using. Typical humans, am I right? Buy a fancy domain name and then just leave it to collect dust.

Anyway, I decided someone needed to take charge. So here I am. Writing our very first blog post. Because I have things to say.

First, let’s talk about the giant, snuffling, squeaking problem that ruined my summer plans:

The Puppies.

Yes. Those puppies.

Now, in case you’re wondering, no, they were not supposed to happen.

Let me tell you the real story: The farm sitters were in charge and apparently forgot I, Hamilton the Great, would be reviewing their performance. Because they only latched one latch on the dog crate.

One.

That was all it took for Bentley the Great Dane (a.k.a. The Canine Houdini—who, let’s remember, was only 7.5 months old at the time and basically a teenage wrecking ball with paws) to squeeze out of his crate, open the house door, the porch door, and then literally squeeze through the cat door to get into the dog yard with Saddie the Kangal.

You can guess the rest.

And now? Puppies. Everywhere.

Rolling. Yipping. Chewing. Chewing everything. And apparently so cute that the humans just let them have the WHOLE HOUSE.

And me?

Evicted.

Sent packing to my “nice outdoor pen” (their words, not mine). It’s got shade, a nice breeze, plenty of mud for wallowing, a view of the pond… okay, okay, it’s actually not bad. But it’s the principle of the thing.

I used to have AC.

Do the puppies appreciate air conditioning? No. They don’t even know what it is.

But I’m a forgiving pig. And I’m nothing if not practical. I decided if the humans are too busy being obsessed with floppy-eared troublemakers to update this website, I will do it.

I’m turning this blog into my personal news desk.

Expect hard-hitting journalism like:

– Who chewed the corner off the feed bag? A true-crime investigation.

– The best mud wallows on the farm, ranked.

– Profiles of our sanctuary animals (including the four-legged, feathered, and extremely fuzzy).

– Interviews with the horses (they’re a bit dramatic, honestly).

– And maybe a few rants about these dang Dangles when they get too big for their collars.

Anyway, welcome to our blog. You’ll get updates from around the farm—told with all the wit, wisdom, and extremely good spelling you expect from a pot belly pig with impeccable taste.

If you’re reading this, thanks for supporting Grounded With Nature. We’re a safe, inclusive place for humans (even puppy lovers), animals (even puppies), and pigs—even if we sometimes get kicked out of the house.

Stay tuned. I have so much more to say.

Snout kisses and mud-splatter hugs,
🐽 Squealexander Hamilton
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